Thinking positively may not be what you think it is...
Delphi's Thoughts on Being Positive:
"Being positive isn't about finding the silver lining in every situation. If you've have had a previous miscarriage or a still birth, fallen pregnant unexpectedly, feeling positive may feel like the last place you can reach. So what is being positive?
Consider that being positive is perhaps knowing you have the strength to get through the challenges life brings even if that means someone carries you for a while. You may not feel strong so talking to someone can help. This could be a friend, a family member or a qualified professional."
Delphi Ellis (Dip. Couns.) MBACP, Founder of Positively Pregnant.
Baby Steps Positive Steps towards bettental
If some of the information on this website seems familiar, below are just some tips for positive ways forward with depression and anxiety in pregnancy. These tips aren't meant to be seen as 'easy' or quick fixes but may go some small way to helping relieve some of the symptoms. The term 'baby steps' refers to the fact that each step should be taken in a small and managable way.
Ask for help
If you recognise some of the symptoms on this site, make an appointment to see your GP or midwife so that you can chat through how you're feeling. Encourage friends and family members to learn about ante-natal depression, take them with you to appointments if you feel that would help and suggest they use 'helpful' language. Explain to them what would help, things like picking other children up from school or doing the shopping so you can put your feet up. Your midwife may know of other people in your area who are experiencing similar feelings so may be able to help you create a support network locally.
Take a moment...and breathe
If you are starting to feel like things are getting on top of you, take a moment to step back from the situation and recognise what has triggered your anxiety. Practice some helpful breathing by taking a deep breath and making the count last at least five seconds, hold for five seconds then breathe out again, making the breath out last at least five seconds. Do this just a few times then return your breathing to normal. Joining a pregnancy yoga class or aqua natal can get you out and about meeting people and the gentle exercise can help improve your mood.
Keep Talking
Sometimes taking the time to talk about how we feel is a huge step on our personal journey through life, so don't fail to recognise the important baby step you can make by doing that.
One thing which can help is setting yourself some small, manageable goals which can help you reclaim some of your confidence. Things like deciding to get up and get dressed can be small, achievable goals you can set yourself each day. Extra steps like joining a club or taking up class can help get you out and meeting new people. Don't forget to reward yourself too, when you do what you've set out to do.
Apply the rule of 80/20 - if you manage to achieve your goals 80% of the time, no one can hold an 'off' day against you. If you find you're having a 20% day just acknowledge it and don't be afraid to go back to bed and start again.
Writing some affirmations about yourself, phrases like 'I know I can love and be loved' are a positive step forward to recognising your value and worth. Here is a great site which may help: Self Esteem - MIND
Chatting things over with a close friend or professional counsellor can also help.
Remember that Depression in Pregnancy does exist
Ante-natal depression is an illness and illnesses can require treatment. Your GP may recommend a course of anti-depressents or suggest you talk things through with a professional counsellor.
If you are feeling suicidal you can ring the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 for the cost of a local call, ring NHS Direct on 0845 46 47 or ring your GP/Midwife or healthcare provider as soon as possible.